Finding Myself in a Kayak
You know how we all have those fears of things that we actually really want to do, which makes them annoying but also more enjoyable to conquer? Like skydiving or swimming with sharks?
Ya I have one of those and the other day I straight up faced that fear down.
I KAYAKED. In a lake.
Impressive, right!? (Can you sense a sarcastic smirk if I throw !? together like that?)
Look, I know this is a silly fear and maybe isn't the same as swimming with sharks, but the fear basically extends to being in or on open water alone. I love it when I'm with someone I trust, but alone it freaks me out. I imagine horrid scenarios where I am drowned by seaweed that tangles around my foot or eaten by a shark or suddenly it gets super stormy and I'm left out there all by myself in a massive storm, getting tossed around by waves and narrowly missing being fried by lightning.
I'm sure a therapist could have a field day with that...
But back to the point:
I kayaked! In a lake!
I had the most relaxing, peaceful time I've had in a long time. It was just me and the gently lapping waves and the occasional roar of a passing boat.
And I did it alone. Which matters.
Because it reminded me that I'm capable. I can make hard decisions, take big risks, dream impossible dreams. That's what makes me who I am. Stepping outside of my comfort zone, in ways big and small, helps shape me and open me up to the world. I guess I needed that reminder. I find that as I get older, bit by bit, that scary stuff gets harder, seems bigger, gets downright scarier. And it becomes even more important to challenge myself outside of that comfort zone...because it really is where all the good stuff happens.
I have to say that if you're struggling with a big decision or just feeling in turmoil you really ought to do one of two things (or both together): get out on the water and face a fear you've been putting off or holding on to. You'll get clarity, you'll get peace of mind, and if my experience is anything to go off of, you'll remember just who you are and what you can do. I bet I'm not the only one who needs that reminder from time to time.
I went back out again today and took my camera along this time for a few photos (the first time I went sans technology).